


Charlemagne's Daughter

by joouheika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ACWNR, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joouheika/pseuds/joouheika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Farlan completely blames Levi that their little sister is a kleptomaniac.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlemagne's Daughter

**Author's Note:**

> an old work

If anything it’s his fault.

Levi had taught her everything she knows.

While they stole for survival, Isabel’s skill had risen to the point she was doing it out of reflex. Even beyond it. She was doing it without even noticing. She came home not only with bread and butter, gold or flowers, tea and cigarettes. Important papers (forged or not), watches and jewels, scarves and pocket knives.

Now she was even bringing in miscellaneous crap that he had to throw away- used tissues, bottle caps, half a lunch (half eaten and not by Isabel), a pacifier, general rubbish and shit that could not be sold, eaten, or be of any use to them.

On one hand he was proud as fuck her skill had risen to surpass instinct.

On the other he really needs Isabel to get her shit together.

An instinct that went undetected and uncontrolled, is dangerous. Reckless. She could get herself in some serious danger for the dumbest shit if she kept doing this.

But if she could get it under control.

They would make a killing.

So they’re going to have a talk about it.

That might help.

Isabel is sitting nervously in her seat, with all the crap she brought home and all the not crap she’d brought home, neatly lined up on the wobbly but very clean table they sometimes have dinner on when there is food but mainly they have tea at it. Isabel had brought home tea, Levi was much less pissed off than he could be. She could tell. But she is still nervous.

“Isabel.”

“Ye-yeah big bro?”

“What are we going to do about this.”

“A-about whaaaat.”

Levi makes a gesture over the items and Isabel nods at him.

“A bigger bag. I need a bigger bag.”

“Big bags are suspicious, I prefer you not to use one unless you absolutely have to. When would one absolutely have to use a big bag? For big shit Isabel.”

Isabel has shut her eyes tight, thinking very hard as she rolls her head back, giving a wail. She isn’t good with reasoning and using words is sometimes too hard. However when she does say something with meaning, it has been thought out a long while, and hurts more than her knife or any punch and she hits hard, big bro says so so it’s definitely true. Despite that, she’d never last an interrogation, she’d either bite her tongue or bite the offender’s first before they got anything.

She shuts up as Levi continues.

“You don’t need a bigger bag to pile a bunch of needless crap you might get your fingers cut for. Don’t waste any motion on pilfering junk. Got it? I’m keeping the bag you have, you need to learn awareness.”

Isabel is swearing.

“Big bro, big bro, this is a lady’s thing. Lady’s carry bags. I got this I got this big bro I ain’t ever gunna steal useless shit again alright? So let me keep the bag. Pockets can only carry so much and it isn’t winter, not yet so I can’t wear the cloak yeah? I need the bag.”

Levi stands up.

Looking over the majority of crap Isabel had brought home that he’s laid out on the table.

Everything on the table had been from her pockets.

He pulls out her bag, unclasps the flap and turns it over on the table.

Shaking out every single snitched item within.

It’s a lot, a lot of shit.

A lot of-

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh my fucking god big bro I’m so sorry I’m so sorry big bro holy shit I didn’t know oh my god what the fuck I’m sorry- ew ew ew ew-”

Frogs.

A ton of dead frogs, dried lizards, and spices that would have been good if the dead frogs, dried lizards, some still alive and kicking bugs, had not been swarming all over them. Spices are valuable and could have been sold on the very dark blackmarket, or they could have enjoyed them. Levi has not drank chai in an extremely long time.

Isabel is shuddering in revulsion, she’s actually surprised big bro didn’t just practice some kicking exercises from the get go. She’s a little happy. His affection towards her must have risen...

Levi reaches into his pocket and takes out his lighter, he lights her bag on fire.

...or not.

Kicking out the flames that fall from his fingers onto the ground as he drops the now piling ashes aside the table.

Before leaving to wash his hands he tells her-

“Clean it all up.”

Isabel wails some more and does as she’s been told.

\--

Farlan is looking at Levi with that disapproving look on his face again.

“You tried to help. I know you absolutely did but-”

“That fucking brat.”

Levi is standing next to Farlan as they survey Isabel’s room. She’s out at the moment, and had indeed gotten rid of her problem of pick pocketing without noticing. Instead she stole with great detection, purpose, and if she did not go big, she did not return home.

She always comes home.

She has a fuck ton of bags.

They line the walls of her room.

Every size, made of everything imaginable, wool or silk, some with beads and bright colours, others dark, or leather. Feathers and fur. Straps or handles or none at all. She has a bag now for almost every season, every occasion, and every person.

Levi had taken and destroyed her only bag so she had stolen every goddamn bag in the underground.

There is only one thing left to do.

“She’ll open up a bag shop.”

Farlan makes an incredulous noise, wondering what sort of reckless action Isabel would take after Levi has her sell all the bags she’d stolen.

When he voices this concern.

Levi looks over to him, as that was his intent to begin with- “I’d like to know that for myself too, Farlan. But we won’t know unless it’s done, yeah? Isabel will do it then. And then we’ll know.”

“Levi. Levi that is the mentality that brought this whole situation into being to begin with, that attitude right there-”

“You got a better idea? I’m almost out of black tea, that shit ain’t cheap.”

Farlan almost throws his hands up into the air but that is overdramatic so he just sighs, like he always does.

“Can’t you just steal some of that? I’m rather impressed by her collection.”

Levi’s expression doesn’t change in the slightest.

“She can collect tea next.”

Farlan shakes his head as they close her room’s door.

“Then she will completely be your protégée.”

Levi muses on that.

“Impossible. She doesn’t like tea at all unless we put honey in it. The king will come down here and dine with the roaches before-”

There’s a loud crack, and some concerned is expressed over if the door is broken. Again. But it’s just Isabel returning home excitedly. There’s something in the biggest bag they’ve ever seen her carry. It’s huge.

Farlan comes over aside her to look it over but Levi steps back in alarm, drawing his sword that’d been resting along with the coat he’d draped over the chair as Isabel catches her breath.

They need to close the door.

With what she brought into their humble abode with it.

It’s-

“Isabel,” Farlan says, “What’s that noise?”

Buzzing.

Isabel turns to Farlan excitedly, a hand on the flap of her bag.

“It’s a beehive! It’s just as big bro told me. Honey comes from these hives yeah? We’re gunna have sweet stuff for months! H-hey, big bro whachu doing with your sword BIG BRO NO-”

Not only do idiots not catch colds they also never get stung by bees.

The ways of this world, Levi has known for some time- are complete and total shit.

Some of the bags from Isabel's collection they have to break and reform to make protective suits for when they dare try to go outside where a ton of pissed off bees are from when the beehive had been thrown outside with the bag but split in the process.

No shop is opened and the tea (what remains of it) is still drunk black.


End file.
